Saturday, November 14, 2015

Why Do You Want to Get Married? ~ by Amy Vest

“Why, why, why, why, why???”

I want to play the toddler for you in this post - You know, the stage where they ask "Why?" about everything?  I want to keep asking "Why?" and help you to ask "Why?" as you consider marriage!

In this post, we are going to cover the “Why?” of marriage.

When your life is lived in, from, and for the greatest Love Story (Jesus and the Gospel), your mission in life and decisions should increasingly flow from that, also.

When we think about marriage, we need to ask, “Why do I want to get married?”
  We need to know the “why” before we consider the “who”, “when”, and “how”.  When you have prayed and thought this through with Jesus and your perspective and goals are in place, then you are in a better frame of mind to be considering who the Lord might have you marry.

Ask yourself:

"Why do I want to get married?"

Stop and think about that for a moment.

Why do you really want to get married?  What is your goal in a relationship and marriage?

Let's take it a step deeper:

"What is my "Why?" in life?"

You were created for your life to be about Jesus, our relationship with Him, growing in His likeness, and sharing Him with the world.

Let your “Why” in life determine your “Why” in marriage.

When your goal in marriage is to know, become like, and serve Jesus more together, it brings purpose and stability as you consider a relationship.

Let's look at why (Yes, another "Why"!):

If your ULTIMATE goal is:
~ "He makes me happy" - he may make you happy today - but, he is a sinner who some days will make you sad (and you will do the same for him), no matter how much he loves you.
~ "He is cute" - try going to a nursing home and see what will matter in 50 years - if he was cute, or if he was like Jesus.
~ "I will be satisfied" - marriage can bring so much joy to your life, but only Jesus will satisfy you.
~ "_____________" - You fill in the blank.

But, WHY?
~ Why lay down your life for the other person?
~ Why serve one another?
~ Why be faithful in sickness and health?
~ Why?

It has to be about something bigger than you.

It must be about Jesus and His glory.  In this you are the most deeply satisfied, He is glorified, and others are blessed.  These three things always go hand-in-hand.

When the days are sunshiny and happy, or when the going gets tough - you are united around something deeper.

If you are united around this deeper purpose, it brings a solid foundation to your marriage - and draws you deeper in your relationship with one another as you grow closer to God.

The deepest, most joyful marriages have this as their uniting factor - a desire for Jesus and His glory.

Fairytales paint it as – “Happily ever after.” If your goal is only personal happiness, you will not always find it.  Marriage is about something SO MUCH MORE than our personal happiness! It is about Jesus and His glory - in our lives, potential marriage, and the world.  This comes in marriage as we point one another to Jesus, encourage each other towards growth in Him, extend grace and forgive when the other makes a mistake, serve and support one another, and join as a team to declare the Jesus we love most to the world hungry for Him.

Marriage is going to help make you holy, as well as happy.  To give you a way to minister, as well as receive a meaningful relationship.  To advance His glory, as well as receive His love through a person.

God designed marriage to bless you, sanctify you, and use you as a team for the Kingdom.

This question of "Why?" has been so powerful to me.  As I have pondered this with Jesus, it has brought such clarity in thinking about and considering relationships.
My "Why" for marriage is: Companionship with someone with whom I can seek Jesus, love Him more, grow in Him, and pour out our lives to make Him known.  My theme verse for my “Why” is this: "Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together!” (Psalm 34:3) 

I want Jesus, His will, and His glory more than anything - whether it means marriage or singleness.  I trust that if Jesus has marriage for me, He will bring it and He will make it clear! 

He will make it clear to you, too, friend.  Know your "Why?".  If He has someone for you, you can trust Him to bring your lives together for the purpose of loving, following, seeking, and serving Jesus more together than apart.  (More on these topics in the coming posts!

I pray you are excited as you look at this vision of what life and marriage are about.

So I close as your toddler friend asking, "Why?, why?, why?"!

I strongly encourage you to really think about your “Why” for desiring marriage.  This will bring powerful clarity as you live life and consider a relationship. 

We will look at some practical ideas for considering marriage next week!

Have a wonderful week finding fulfillment in Jesus and looking with Him at your “Why?"!


  1. I love this post. You're such a godly woman. I can't wait to read more posts on your thoughts about marriage. :)

    1. Dear Ashley! I am so grateful to Jesus that you loved this post! He is so amazing, isn't He? I am so grateful that we have Him and His Word to guide us through all of life! I'm glad you are joining us for this series on marriage! Thanks for commenting!